Marauding
by Hermione Fowl
Summary: The Marauders doing what they do best. Group of one-shot convo-fics.
1. Don't Kiss Me!

**Maraudering**

**Summary: Marauders doing what they do best. One-shots, dialogue fics.**

**A/N: Tried to write convo-only fics. Dont know how well it worked...**

**Chapter 1 – Don't Kiss Me!**

"'ello, Moony-kins."

"Hello, Padfoot."

"Hiya, Moon-pie."

"Hello, Prongs."

"Moony, you're absolutely gorgeous."

"Padfoot, you're absolutely mental."

"No, he's Sirius!"

"Of course. Sorry, Prongs."

"Ignore Prongsie. He's jealous of our relationship."

"Gross, Padfoot! Don't kiss me, there are other people here!"

"Hi, guys."

"Hello, Wormtail."

"Wormtail, Pads and Loony Moony were pashing."

"Gross! Remus John Lupin, you disgust me."

"We weren't!"

"Yes, we were. Wormtail, it was really gross, Moony was feeling me up in front of all these people."

"He was. It's a miracle they're still clothed."

"We were _not_. Padfoot kissed me on the _cheek_."

"Butt cheek."

"See, Moony, even Wormtail knows what you're like."

"Merlin, go annoy someone else, can't you?"

"Oh, but Muh-oony, we love you."

"I know, but look, Lily's over there, all by herself."

"_Is_ she? We better go see her. Thanks, Luna!"

"Welcome. Why Luna?"

"You know, like a moon. HEY EVANS!"

"Sorry, Lily!"


	2. Your What?

**Maraudering**

**Chapter 2 – Your What?**

"Hem hem."

"You sound like Doleres."

"I know. I was trying to get your attention, Lily-Flower."

"But I already knew you were here, James."

"Then why are your lips so far away?"

"Just because you're my boyfriend-"

"Your what?"

"My boyfriend, doesn't mean-"

"I'm sorry, what am I?"

"A prat."

"Ah, I see. Continue, please."

"Just because you're my boyfriend, doesn't mean I-"

"_What_ am I?"

"James, you giggle like a little girl."

"I just really like hearing you say that."

"I noticed. Look, just because... I forgot what I was going to say."

"I believe you were going to say 'Darling James, let me snog you senseless."

"I doubt."

"Well, no, you probably weren't. But I won't object if you want to anyway."

"Not in the middle of the Great Hall, with all these people around."

"Doesn't stop Moony-kins and Paddington."

"Ex_cuse_ me?"

"Um... Pretend I said nothing."

"You know, James, I like you and all, but with friends like those I sometimes wonder if it's worth it."

"Bloody hell, do you? Excuse me for a moment... PADFOOT, YOU CAN'T BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE!"

"James, you really are a prat."


	3. Wormtail

**Maraudering**

**Chapter 3 – Nicknames (Part ¼)**

**A/N: I know this isn't the real reason for his nickname, but I thought it was funny. The other three will be getting one too.**

"How come Moony's the only one with a nickname?"

"He wanted one."

"Not true, Sirius."

"Ah, but it is... Moony."

"But _I_ want a nickname."

"You whine like a little kid. Let's call you Sir Whine-A-Lot."

"Brilliant, James. Pure genius."

"See, Moony, this is what happens when you're sarcastic all the time. It rubs off."

"It's not _my_ fault!"

"Oh, but it is."

"GUYS! I want a nickname!"

"Wormtail."

"_Wormtail_?"

"Yes. You have a tail like a worm."

"Stop laughing. I don't get it."

"You know, floppy and useless."

"But I don't have a tail."

"No, we mean your... You know."

"No, I don't."

"Say it, Sirius."

"No! Make Moony say it."

"Hey, look, Sirius, you made Moony blush like a little girl."

"Tee hee. Say it, Moony."

"It's a stupid nickname. It doesn't need explaining."

"Sirius, Wormtail, I believe a chocolate ban is required."

"No! Merlin, I don't understand why I hang out with you guys. Peter-"

"Wormtail. My name is Wormtail."

"Sorry, Wormtail. They mean your..."

"Don't _whisper_ it!"

"Oh, yuck! I don't want _that_ nickname!"

"Don't worry, it'll never stick."


	4. Hi

**Maraudering**

**Chapter 4 – Hi**

"PRONGS! Prongs, Prongsie, Prongo, Prong-man, Prongsie-pie!"

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"Hi."

"... That's it?"

"Yes. Oh, and congrats on winning that game against the Puffs."

"... You mean last year?"

"Yes, yes I do. Bye, Prongo."

"... Bye?"

"MOONY! Moony, Moonykins, Moon-pie, Muh-oony, Loony Moony, Moon-man!"

"What, Padfoot?"

"Hi."

"Hello."

"..."

"Was that all, Padfoot?"

"Yep."

"Alright then. Bye."

"See ya, Moonykins."

"WORMTAIL! Wormtail, Wormy... Geez, we need to work on your nickname."

"Hi, Padfoot."

"Good day, Monsieur Wormtail."

"Is there a reason you were screaming my name?"

"I did it to Prongs and Moony."

"Oh, all right, then."

"Yes, 'tis."

"..."

"Bye, Worm... Germy Wormy."

"Um, bye..."

"EVANS! Evans, Lily, Lils, Lilykins, Lily-Flower, Mrs Potter!"

"Just stick with the first two, Sirius. The others are rubbish."

"Hi, Lovely Lily."

"Better. Hello, Sirius."

"Oh, Merlin..."

"What's the matter?"

"YOU FANCY ME!"

"Goodbye, Sirius."

"See ya, Mrs Black."


	5. Your Dad

**Marauding**

**Chapter 5 – Your Dad**

"Moooooony."

"You sound like a cow, Prongs."

"A cow... Hm... Hey! That means I have horns! Cause I make people HORNy, get it?"

"Prongs, stop nudging me."

"But _do_ you get it?"

"I get it."

"That's good. It wasn't really funny."

"No, it wasn't."

"Hmm... Hmmmmmm... HMMM-"

"Prongs, shut _up_!"

"You're meant to say 'Prongs, what are you hmm-ing about?"

"Ugh, fine. Prongs, what are you hmm-ing about? I'm just _dying_ to know."

"I don't like your tone of voice, young man."

"What are you, my dad?"

"Yeah, actually. Which means I can ground you."

"I see."

". . . Moony, you're grounded."

"For?"

"Um. . . Don't answer back!"

"Prongs."

"That's Dad to you, mister."

"Whatever. Just, don't become a dad, OK?"

"Merlin, no. I'd die."


	6. Prod

**Marauding**

**Chapter** **6 – Prod **

"Sirius, stop prodding me."

"Prod."

"Sirius. . ."

"Prod."

"Stop it, Padfoot. I am deadly serious."

"No, I'm Sirius!"

"How can you still laugh at that?"

"It's hilarious. Prod."

"Sirius Black."

"Yes, my darling Moon-pie?"

"Stop-"

"Stop what? This? Prod."

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

"Prod."

". . ."

"Stop looking at me like that. It's scary."

". . ."

"Moony. . ."

". . ."

"Mooooooooony! You're scaring me!"

"Hey, Padfoot?"

"Don't kill me! Oh, Merlin, get that finger away from me!"

"Prod."


End file.
